There's more to life than corporate IDs, business relationships, faxes, e-mails, conferences and deadlines. Sometimes we should just enjoy a smile :) Here are some good reasons to do that:
"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. "
~ George Burns
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
~ Spike Milligan
"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. "
~ Robert Frost
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
~ Ellen DeGeners
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. "
~ E. E. Cummings
"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."
~ Les Dawson
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. "
~ Jack Benny
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
~ George Carlin
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. "
~ Oscar Wilde
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
~ Charlie Brown
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
~ Jerry Seinfeld
"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
~ Rodney Dangerfield
"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
~ Al Capone
"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
~ Jeff Marder.
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. "
~ Dick Cavett
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. "
~ David Letterman
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
~ Bill Vaughan
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. "
~ Rodney Dangerfield
"My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."
~ Eric Morecambe
"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work. "
~ Gallagher
"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. "
~ Unknown
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. "
~ Mel Brooks
"A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. "
~ David Brenner
"Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies."
~ Adrienne Gusoff.
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. "
~ Jack Handey
"I can resist anything but temptation. "
~ Oscar Wilde |
